Ok, so you have an an incredible online personal ad… and a fantastic photo, complete with a just-from-the-dentist-white smile…
yet things can still fall apart if you’re sending out a clumsy reply messages in response to other people’s profiles. What can you do in order to pique someone’s interest?
DO -
Write everything ahead of time. This lets you take into consideration what you want to say and more importantly, proofread the spelling along with the grammar. Have a friend read your response as well. Wait to see how her or she reacts to your first draft.
Spell-check. What word processing program doesn’t have spell-check? In this era of tweeting, texting and emoticons, we’ve lost the fine art of written communication. Your digital first impression is not the time to take a shortcut. Some individuals are just inherently poor spellers, nonetheless, failing to invest a few seconds to click the spell-check button can make you look less intelligent or significantly less educated. Many online dating websites don’t offer spell-checking, so write your response in WORD (or another word processing program) first and spell-check it. Then just copy and paste your text.
Customize and individualize your online dating response. Point out something using their profile, answer a question that refers to something they wrote, or describe how you would be a good match up for them. Talk about what attracted you to their specific ad. No one wants to waste their time on a form letter. Write more than one line. “Cool profile… wanna chat?” is simply not going to work. Set your self apart and say a thing interesting to secure a reply. Limit yourself to one reply, until your hear back. Imagine it as a ping-pong game. You reply. They reply back and so forth. Sending a ton of messages without a response will not set you apart as someone who is dedicated. You will look like a stalker.
Humor is always a good ice-breaker, but keep it relevant and in good taste. You don’t want to offend anyone.
DON’T -
Don’t demand private information right away. Certainly not when you have been reluctant to offer any specifics about yourself. Think about how freaked-out you would be if the shoe was on the other foot. Find a balance between talking about yourself and inquiring about them. Don’t try to get the ball rolling by talking your last failed relationship. Of course, everyone has a dating history, good and bad. However, bashing your ex’s makes you come across as a little bitter.
If you’re on a mainstream dating site, don’t immediately start talking about sex. There are adult and alternative dating site specifically for that purpose. If your personal ad is one one of these adult sites, feel free to talk about whatever sort of crazy fetish you’re into. An overtly sexual message on a mainstream dating website will come across as rude and disgusting. Women, in most cases, will just delete these messages. When men get sexually-charged emails from a woman proclaiming to be a double-jointed, nymphomaniac, who just happens to be a former gymnast, they often expect a link to a porn site.
Don’t write an autobiography. Dumping your life in someone’s lap will almost certainly look strange. You need to write enough to sound like you have an interesting life, but not a complete anthology of everything you’ve done since birth.
Don’t ever mention “Online dating sucks”, or words to that effect. It’s rather ironic to slam the process you are currently using to find someone, don’t you think? Plus, how do you think the other person will respond? Are you telling them that anyone who using online dating is desperate, lame or needy? Take your time asking for a phone number. You don’t want to come across as a serial killer. When you do offer your phone number, make it a cellphone number, not your home phone.
