Flirting will be the way many people determine whether or not there is a “spark”, “chemistry” or any other romantic acronym used to describe a sexual interest in someone. This is the quick and dirty, reduced-calorie version of the overtly complex, sometimes exciting, sometimes embarrassing endeavor we call flirting. It all beings with the approach. Keep in mind, these suggestions are geared primarily for men. Women don’t need to flirt. All they have to do is show up somewhere and they guys will approach them.
The Strategy
One person approaches the other. They adjust for geography and move closer together. The most important rule – NO strategy equals NO possibility of initiating contact. Take a chance. What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like rejection ruins your credit score.
Example: A woman sits down close to a man inside a cafe, or a man gravitates towards a group of women in a club. This is the first step. When you approach, you start looking for certain indicators known as “signs”.
The Signs
The approachee (the one who has been approached) will always present a sign to the approacher (the one who did the approaching). Nothing about this sign will be overt, unless she’s a real %$^# who’s mad at someone else and is transferring her aggression onto the first poor bastard who has the misfortune to approach her. Don’t take offense to any hostility. Even the most seemingly normal women have issues. Remember guys, no matter how beautiful the woman, some guy somewhere is sick of her sh!t. She may just be having a bad day.
Assuming she’s not a psycho, the sign will be more subtle, usually just body language. As an example, she just may just smile, move over to make room, nod her head, or just some brief eye contact.
If you see crossed arms, a hand on the hip, a frown or if the entire group of girls whip their heads around and stare at you as you were a green Martian, walk away. Expect to be disappointed some of the time. If you get shot down then it’s time to re-group and try again. After all, if they just fell back with their legs open, what would be the sport in it? Now let’s say your game works. You’ve got some decent acknowledgement, now what? Time to to move on to the next step.
The Oral Exchange
Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. We’re talking about, well, talking. The two people might engage in a perfunctory conversation about inane, unimportant concerns such as the weather or the scene around the club. The key word here is PERFUNCTORY.
This is the classic place for your clever “line,” yet cleverness is not required. At this point, this initial conversation is not the time to share important insights with regards to life or even determining philosophical compatibility. This is just getting your foot in the door. Also, remember the act of conversation is called “conversing”. Never, ever use the word, “conversate”. For one, “conversate” is not a word. And two, saying “conversate” makes you sound stupid.
Examples: Spoken overtures might contain anything, even sexual, but keep that in check. Saying, “nice rack” is only appropriate if you meet her in a housewares store and she just happens to be holding a spice rack. They key here is to knowing how to moderate the conversation. If you yammer on and on, she’ll quickly get bored. Listen to what she has to say, don’t just wait for your chance to talk. That way you’ll have a chance to follow-up with a question about the topic she’s been talking about. Ask a question and allow her to keep talking. People love to talk about themselves, so she’ll enjoy the opportunity to do so. Secondly, she’ll think you’re a good listener, which gives you a few “cool points”.
Touching
If a woman is interested in a man, she will use any excuse to touch him. A couple might accidentally touch their fingers against each other while reaching for a drink, or perhaps the woman may possibly touch the man’s arm after he tells a joke. This is usually accompanied by her laughter, even if your joke is terrible. If you tell a joke and she grabs your arm without laughing, she may just be drunk and is trying to steady herself from falling.
Ultimately, flirting is first contact between two different species, men and women. No one gets this right the first time and real life flirting never works as easily as it’s portrayed in the movies. Take some time to hit the club or bar as an observer. Watch others flirt and notice what works, what doesn’t and what get’s you slapped in the face. Practice makes perfect.
